What Do People Feel When Experiencing the Loss of a Loved One?

The loss of a loved one is a deeply painful experience. Is it possible to prepare for such grief in advance, and how can one cope with mourning? How can we understand our emotions and the signals our body sends during this difficult time? These questions are addressed by a study conducted by researchers at Brandeis University, the findings of which are shared by the funeral service provider Vilnius Funeral Home. We invite you to read on.

Emotions of the Bereaved

The emotional whirlwind during a period of grief can directly affect behavior, concentration, productivity, and responsible decision-making. A person may feel exhausted, anxious, overwhelmed by dark emotions, distressing thoughts, and longing. Appetite may decrease or disappear altogether. Some people experience feelings of anger, apathy, guilt, and hopelessness.

Although no words can “erase grief,” and there is no single correct way to mourn, each person’s grief is individual—it is both a physical and emotional process of coming to terms with the loss of a loved one. A study conducted by Brandeis University explores the emotions experienced by grieving individuals and how grief affects their daily life, health, and decision-making.

Research has shown how profoundly grief can impact both mind and body. Scientists at Brandeis University, a research institution based in Boston, were surprised by how intensely recently widowed men who participated in the study reacted to the loss of a loved one and described their grief. They expressed their emotions with phrases such as:

“I feel like I’m in a long, dark tunnel and haven’t yet found the way out.”

“It was like a tsunami, a massive wave crashing over your family and leaving you in a sea of silence.”

“It’s like a hole that tears through your soul.”

According to researchers, in the beginning grief can permeate everything, altering daily routines and emotional states. Sleep patterns are often disrupted, appetite decreases, and people may feel apathetic. Persistent anxiety may arise, memory can weaken, and it may become difficult to concentrate. If a person uses alcohol, tobacco, or sedatives, consumption and related risks may increase (it is important to recognize this and seek support from loved ones or medical professionals).

An additional observation is that if a loved one died from a particular illness, the symptoms they experienced and shared may seem to manifest in the grieving person as well.

Some individuals—especially children—may experience physical complaints such as headaches, dizziness, stomach pain, or heart rhythm disturbances.

Detachment from Reality

The emotional turbulence caused by grief can directly affect behavior and lead to irrational decisions. It is common to feel restless and exhausted, to cry, withdraw from everyday life, immerse oneself in memories, and struggle to orient oneself in reality.

American writer and journalist Joan Didion, one of the pioneers of New Journalism, eloquently described her altered perception of reality after the sudden death of her husband, novelist and screenwriter John Gregory Dunne, in her memoir The Year of Magical Thinking. She wrote:

“There were times when I could not think rationally. I thought the way small children think, as if my thoughts or wishes could change reality. In my case this irrational thinking was hidden. I believe no one noticed, but at the same time it felt like a shield protecting me from reality.”

Researchers note that for a time, grieving individuals may feel the presence of the deceased, hear their voice, dream about them, or speak to them. This is considered a natural reaction to grief. However, seeking professional support is recommended if these experiences become overwhelming or distressing.

Weakened Immune System

The impact of grief is not only emotional; it can also weaken the immune system and increase the risk of various illnesses. Studies show that in people experiencing the loss of a loved one, immune cell function may decline and inflammatory responses may increase. This reaction may help explain why individuals undergoing intense negative emotions are more prone to colds and may use more medication.

There is also often an increased risk of high blood pressure (hypertension) and heart disease, and existing health conditions—such as heart failure—may worsen.

Researchers emphasize that emotions such as anger, depression, sadness, apathy, decreased concentration, physical pain, and weakened immunity are natural bodily responses to grief. This state should be acknowledged and lived through. Do not be ashamed to share your pain with loved ones, and when you feel ready, seek professional help.

Vilnius Funeral Home provides comprehensive professional funeral services: handling death documentation, cremation, viewing hall rental and decoration, transportation, repatriation of remains, as well as urns, caskets, clothing, and other necessary items and services for a dignified farewell.

Our funeral organizers are ready to take care of all practical matters so you can devote more time to honoring your loved one.

Source:

[https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/grief-and-loss-a-guide-to-preparing-for-and-mourning-the-death-of-a-loved-one#excerpt](https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/grief-and-loss-a-guide-to-preparing-for-and-mourning-the-death-of-a-loved-one#excerpt)