Funerals today: how traditions are becoming more modern
When confronted with death, we often rely on experiences gained from attending other people’s funerals. However, as times change, so do funeral traditions. Funerals are becoming more modern, and the color of mourning is no longer only black. A coordinator from “Vilniaus laidojimo namai” dispels common myths and explains what funeral traditions look like today.
MYTH 1: Mourning color is only black
Through our clothing and appearance, we show respect to the deceased and their loved ones. Each country has its own mourning color: in Lithuania, black is traditional; in Japan, white is the mourning color; in some African countries, funerals are associated with red.
According to the funeral planning coordinator at “Vilniaus laidojimo namai,” funeral dress etiquette is becoming simpler. What matters most is not the outfit, but sincere support and care for the grieving family. Dark purple, navy, grey, or brown are appropriate choices. If the ceremony takes place during working hours, smart casual attire is acceptable. Children do not necessarily need to wear black. The key is to avoid bright colors and distracting details.
MYTH 2: Longer funerals show more respect
Today, a farewell may last only a few hours. Shorter funerals are often chosen when remains are transported from abroad, and in such cases, a pre-arranged funeral plan helps ensure everything runs smoothly.
Funerals are emotionally difficult, so people increasingly prefer less prolonged ceremonies. Multi-day funerals are more common among older generations. Modern society is gradually moving toward shorter services, which often cause less stress — but this does not mean less respect for the deceased.
MYTH 3: Funeral music must be mournful
When arranging a funeral, one common question is what music to choose. In the past, mournful hymns and traditional singers were customary. Today, these traditions are fading.
Farewells have become more personal, and the music selected is often gentle and meaningful rather than strictly mournful. Playing the deceased’s favorite songs has become popular, as it evokes warm memories. Live musicians — such as a saxophonist, harpist, or pianist — may also be invited.
MYTH 4: Cremation contradicts values
Another widespread myth is that cremation is un-Christian. In reality, it is a respectful and aesthetic way to say goodbye. In ancient Lithuania, cremation was practiced until the 13th century and was officially legalized in 1932. Since 1962, the Church has not opposed cremation, although it does not support keeping the urn at home.
Urns may be buried in the ground, placed inside a coffin, or stored in a columbarium.
MYTH 5: Hiring a funeral planner is expensive
The main role of a funeral planner is to assist and advise the client, handle arrangements, and coordinate the entire process smoothly. When creating a pre-arranged funeral plan, estimated expenses are outlined in advance — including viewing services, coffins, urns, crosses, clothing, venue rental, decorations, catering, and other related services.
Clients can control and adjust the budget. The planner manages all tasks, allowing family members to devote more time and peace of mind to honoring and saying goodbye to their loved one.
